


Rule 15

by Ytteb



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:19:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6624778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ytteb/pseuds/Ytteb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team remembers the importance of the rules. Gibbs may wish they didn't!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rule 15

"I told you it was a stupid idea, McObvious!" snapped Special Agent DiNozzo.

"You're just mad that there wasn't a spouse to accuse," bit back Special Agent McGee, "we all know that's how your mind works!"

"I think we should have a rota for dumpster diving," said Special Agent Bishop plaintively as she examined her boots which were still festooned with fried onions.

Tony and Tim ignored her pleas and continued their argument, "Technology isn't always the answer, McChip," said Tony, "the guy was like a backwoodsman. What made you think he was the one who'd know about secret weapon systems?"

"I didn't see you coming up with any better ideas, Mr  _I'm the Senior Field Agent I know everything_ " groused Tim.

"And there wasn't even anything in the dumpster," wailed Bishop.

Tim and Tony united for a moment and turned to her, "your boots say otherwise, Bish," said Tony.

"Yeah," said Tim helpfully, "we really should start packing protective footwear for you."

"Why don't we do that already?" asked Bishop plaintively.

Tony shrugged, "you're in charge of stocking the van, Probie."

"Yes," said Tim, "your responsibility."

Bishop sighed, somehow she knew she wouldn't win the argument. "I still think we should have talked to the janitor," she said, "he seemed a bit squirrelly."

"No," said Tony, "it wasn't him. He had the alibi of being at the movies."

"Not everyone who likes movies is a good guy," said McGee, "but Bishop is wrong. The janitor is left handed."

"And left handed people  _are_  good guys?" demanded Bishop, "because statistically …"

"Cut it out!" bellowed Gibbs, tiring of the bickering and one-upmanship. "We'll start again tomorrow. Be here early. We'll go over the evidence again. Talk to all the witnesses again. I'll come with you this time."

The agents sighed. Admiral Benton's briefcase had gone missing while he was accompanying his wife to an exhibition of various new age and alternative therapies. The whole team had gone to the exhibition centre where Gibbs had soon shown signs of irritation at the exhibitors' laidback and placid attitudes. The final straw had come when a woman with a permanent smile had insisted on giving him a crystal which she assured him would 'untangle his aura'. At that point he had decided he would be better employed interviewing the admiral back at the Pentagon. Tony, Tim and Ellie winced at the thought of Gibbs accompanying them the next day.

"07.00," ordered Gibbs as he gathered up his gear in readiness to leave. "Remember. And I don't want another day like today! Rule 15!"

"Rule 15," said Bishop, "that's …"

"Always work as a team," said Tony and Tim in unison.

The team glumly watched Gibbs stab the elevator button in his customary abrupt way as they contemplated the day to come.

"Rule 15", said Tony dreamily.

"You just told me," said Bishop with a hint of irritation, "and I knew anyway."

"No," said Tony, "rule 15."

"Tony," said Tim suspiciously, "are you OK?"

"Oh yes, my little ones, my co-workers, my little chickadees, my …"

"Yes, all right," said Tim impatiently, "we get the idea. What's got into your fevered brain now?"

Tony turned a wounded look on McGee, "there is nothing in my fevered brain …"

"No arguments here," muttered Tim.

Tony grinned as he acknowledged Tim's riposte but he didn't answer directly, "Rule 15. Always work as a team."

"We know, Tony," said Tim, "now can we go home? I'm tired."

"And I want to clean my boots," said Bishop.

"And what's the most important rule?" asked Tony.

"Most important?" asked Bishop. "Aren't they all important?"

"Good answer, Probie," approved Tony, "and you're right but some are more important than others. Tim?"

"Most important rule," mused Tim, "Rule 1, but that might depend on what version you go with? Rule 51? Although Gibbs doesn't seem to follow that one much. Rule …"

"No, no, no," said Tony interrupting Tim's flow, "it's not a rule with a number."

"You mean there are rules  _without_  numbers?" demanded Bishop, "how on earth does Gibbs expect us to keep the rules if they don't have numbers?"

"Calm down, calm down," said Tony pacifically, "I'm not talking about Gibbs' rules. This is more of a DiNozzo rule."

"We have to follow your rules as well?" asked a Bishop who was clearly beginning to feel overwhelmed.

"Well," temporised Tony, "this isn't so much a  _rule_  as a survival strategy."

"Ton-ee," wailed Tim, "I want to go home. Tell us what the most important rule is and let us go home to sleep."

"The most important rule," said Tony solemnly, "is _do what Gibbs tells you_."

"That's it?" said Tim who was plainly unimpressed, " _do what Gibbs tells you_?"

"Absolutely," said Tony, "I attribute my long and illustrious tenure at NCIS to doing what Gibbs tells me."

"Your what?" asked Ellie sceptically.

"OK," agreed Tony, "my  _long_  tenure at NCIS."

"OK," said Tim, "thanks for sharing. I'm going home."

"Wait," ordered Tony, "what was Gibbs' last order?"

"Be here at 07.00," said Bishop wearily.

"No, no, no," said Tony.

"Rule 15," said Tim.

"Give the man a prize," praised Tony, "and that's what we're going to do. That's what is going to save us, squadroomies."

"What?" asked Tim and Ellie.

"Esteemed co-workers," said Tony sententiously, "it is time to implement plan 3a."

"3a?" said Tim.

"Are you sure?" asked Ellie.

"Do you really want to witness Gibbs shoving a crystal down perma-grin Griselda's innocent throat tomorrow?" asked Tony.

"No," said Tim.

"Or watch him rip up all those meticulously compiled astral charts?"

"No," said Bishop.

"We owe it to the Navy," said Tim.

"We have to save him from himself," said Ellie.

"And save  _us_  from himself," added Tim a little incoherently.

"Plan 3a it is," said Tony.

NCISNCIS

It was nearing the evening of the next day when Tim, Tony and Ellie got back from the Washington Exhibition of Alternative and Complementary Therapies. They went straight to their desks and quickly wrote up the reports of their day's activities.

"I think it's kinda pretty," said Tony, as he held up the blue lace agate crystal which Griselda had assured him would bring him calm and serenity.

"And I never realised the importance of a really detailed horoscope," mused Tim, "I mean, I've read them for fun but I never understood what a personalised chart can reveal."

"And Terence was very insightful with his Tarot reading," agreed Bishop, "and he thought I showed real potential. I'm going to take some classes."

"A good day," said Tony happily. "Good work, team."

The three agents looked at one another contentedly.

"Rule 15 is great," said Ellie.

"Time to go," said Tim with a hint of trepidation.

Tony nodded and, as befitted the senior agent present, led them to the elevator. He removed the 'out of order' sign which he had stuck to the door. Tim fiddled with the button until a light came on. Ellie pressed the button and the door swept open. An irate Gibbs burst out.

"Hey, Boss," said Tony.

"Where the hell have you been?" demanded Gibbs.

"At the Washington Exhibition of Alternative and Complementary Therapies," said Ellie innocently.

"Isn't that where you told us to go, Boss?" asked Tim.

"I've been stuck in that damned elevator all day," shouted Gibbs.

"Really?" said Tony, "why?"

"Because it wasn't working!" bellowed Gibbs.

"It worked just now," observed Tim.

"I know that!" roared Gibbs.

"Why didn't you press the alarm?" asked Ellie.

"Because it wasn't working!" hissed Gibbs.

"Oh," said Ellie. She went into the elevator and looked at the alarm panel. "It's working now," she said as she pressed a couple of switches.

"You should have called us," said Tony reproachfully.

"My phone wasn't working."

"There's a rule about that, isn't there?" said Tim.

Tim, Tony and Ellie took a step back as it looked as if Gibbs might explode. "I'm sure I charged it last night," he said, barely holding on to his temper, "But I looked at it when I got stuck in the damned elevator and it had gone flat."

"Perhaps it needs a new battery," suggested Tony.

"They do need replacing after a while," said Ellie wisely.

"Or there's something wrong with the charger. I could take a look at it. If you want," said Tim helpfully.

"At least you had some coffee with you," said Tony apparently trying to look on the bright side, "because you went down to the shop just before we were due to leave."

"There was a queue out the door," said Gibbs crossly. Evidently his hatred of waiting had outweighed his longing for caffeine. "I came back without any."

"Ah," said his three agents sympathetically.

"I'm going to the head," said Gibbs suddenly aware of a rather pressing need. "Wait here!"

"Rule 15," said Tony once he was sure Gibbs was out of range.

"Good work with the elevator switch thingy, McContriver," said Tony.

"Bishop helped," said Tim sharing the praise, "and good pickpocketing skills, Tony," said Tim approvingly, "lifting the Boss's cell like that."

"I've had practice," said Tony ruefully, "at least he won't threaten to break my fingers this time. And good work, Probie to bring the dead battery in."

Ellie blushed, "I didn't know you knew so many people who use Gibbs' coffee shop," she said admiringly, "great job to get them all to line up so quickly."

Tony shrugged modestly, "I think it was the right thing to do. On the one hand it was a bit cruel to deprive him of caffeine all day …"

"But Ducky will think it was good for him," said Tim in somewhat false encouragement.

"But I think it was the best thing. Wouldn't have been fair on the cleaning staff if Gibbs had to … well … you know – go while he was in there."

The others nodded in agreement.

"And nice job with that sign, Probie," said Tim, "looked official."

Gibbs stalked up to them at that moment looking slightly more comfortable than before.

"Why didn't you try and contact me?" he demanded.

"We did, Boss," said Tony virtuously and truthfully. They had indeed tried Gibbs' cell and desk phones even though they had known they wouldn't get an answer.

"You didn't answer," said Ellie sadly.

"We waited for you in the garage. But you didn't come," said Tim.

"We came back up to the squad room but you weren't here," said Tony.

"And your gear had gone," said Ellie.

"So we thought you'd changed your mind about coming to the crime scene," said Tim.

"And we knew that you expect us to anticipate," said Tony.

"And work on our own initiative," said Tim.

"So we worked the scene," said Ellie.

"Humph," said Gibbs. He knew something wasn't quite right but his caffeine deprived mind wasn't telling him what it was.

"We solved the case," said Tony.

"You did?" Gibbs brightened a little. "Was it that woman with the crystals?"

"Griselda?" said Tony, surreptitiously fingering his blue lace agate crystal. "No."

"That guy with the horrorscopes?" suggested Gibbs.

"Horoscopes?" corrected Tim, "no, it wasn't him."

"The man with the playing cards?"

"Terence? With the tarot cards? Oh, no," said Ellie.

"Then who?"

"Admiral Benton," said Tony.

"The Admiral?" said Gibbs, "is he a spy or something?"

"Oh no," said Tim, "at least I don't think so."

"No," said Ellie, "he's just absent minded."

"Absent minded?" demanded Gibbs.

"He realised he'd left the briefcase in the trunk of his car when he and Mrs Benton visited the exhibition," said Tony.

"Which was a good idea," said Tim, "seeing that he had important papers in the briefcase."

"Yes," said Ellie, "they were much more secure there then taking them round the exhibits."

"He didn't remember until his wife did some shopping today," continued Tony.

"She opened the trunk …" said Tim.

"And saw the briefcase," said Ellie.

"If only they'd gone shopping earlier," mused Tony, "we would have got the call earlier."

"And then we'd have been back sooner," said Tim.

"And we would have found you," said Ellie, "a real shame."

"Yes," said Gibbs grimly.

"Still. All's well that ends well," said Tony solemnly. "Night, Boss."

"Night, Boss," chorused Tim and Ellie as they all piled into the elevator.

"Have a good one," said Tony. They all waved cheerfully as the doors shut.

"You don't think the Admiral will tell Gibbs that he left us a message at 08.00 do you?" asked Ellie anxiously.

"We didn't pick it up until much later," said McGee with crossed fingers.

"And we deserved a day with all those friendly people," said Tony.

"It was nice," agreed Ellie, "being away from crime for a change. With people who don't shout."

"Rule 15," said Tony happily, "the best rule of all."

"And just think," said Tim, "of all those other plans we've got ready for when we need to punish Gibbs!"

 


End file.
